A thought for today.

I'm at work right now (temping at the creative offices of Victoria's Secret Beauty- and loving it btw) and a thought has crossed my mind...

Why is it when we reach some of our goals and dreams do we suddenly let them become commonplace?

This is how this thought all started... There is an audition today. It is at the Actor's Equity building and for a theater which is doing 3 shows I would actually be really great for. But did I get there in time to get a time slot? Nope... I didn't. I got up early and everything, but I took my time in the shower, getting ready took forever...Basically I screwed myself over. And it's like I did it on purpose. I sabotaged myself. WHY ON EARTH DID I DO THAT?

Then I realized. I was being a whiny baby. I didn't want to have to get up. I wanted to have an appointment. I've now been sitting here realizing what power we have to create the situations we live within. I thought I should have something GIVEN to me and didn't use my own power to just get the hell up and go get it myself! THIS IS MY JOB. THIS is what I love to do. So why am I treating this process as commonplace and ordinary? It isn't. In rereading some old posts I talked about how I dreamed of becoming Equity. How I dreamed of living in NYC all the time. I HAVE BOTH OF THOSE THINGS! And did I take advantage of that fact? Nope I screwed around and wasted time and by doing so-- completely wasted an opportunity. I realize there will me many, many more now that the audition season is coming, but this is a mistake. Today--- well today this wasted morning is my fault.

To be honest... I am grateful to an extent that it happened today. Its a wake-up call for me. Here is my conclusion...

In life we are given the choice as to whether we use the gifts and talents we were blessed with or not. No one will make us fight for our dreams, for our very destiny unless WE do. This business is so difficult. People don't understand the level of skills you must have in so many different areas of expertise to even attempt this job. While they are called "plays" and it is certainly fun to do... this isn't playing around. This is as technical a job as any other, be it an engineer, a scientist or an accountant. Each of those jobs requires a skill set that must be earned. You don't just wake up one day with all the skill and knowledge of how to build a bridge. You have to learn it. Yes, there is a lot of natural ability that must be present in all careers for you to have a chance at making an impact in the world, but there is also learning that must be done! In talking to a friend last night, we realized that there is a lack of respect for what we do. Even to this day people can treat you like a joke. "Here- write a song for an event, you have 2 days, but let me tell you how to do it even though I know NOTHING of being artistic" What disrespect was shown to my friend. He is an amazing artist who is amazing at business too. He does what he must and stays in a place he doesn't very much like so that he can do what he has passion for. That takes guts. As much as struggling every day to go out and hit the audition circuit. He wishes he could have the ability to hit the circuit more. And here I am today blowing a chance. Frankly, I showed him disrespect by wasting chances. So darlin.... I'm sorry. Its woken me up though. And like I said it comes at the perfect time. Right before the audition season kicks into full gear.

So... no more wasted chances. This is my dream. I AM SERIOUSLY LIVING MY GREATEST DREAMS RIGHT NOW! And I refuse any longer to sit idly by and let chances pass me. This is my destiny, but you have to fight for your destiny to prove yourself worthy of all that is to come. So I will fight. I will get past this disappointment within me for something that was obviously not supposed to be mine anyway and fight for whatever IS meant to be mine. (I know you don't understand that last sentence, but I do.) This is my town. MY HOME. And it is a privilege to be here. An honor many dream of and never accomplish.

This life I am living is in no way commonplace. Nor are the things I am going to accomplish with this life. The point I suppose is this... Dreams help to shape us into the person we were always meant to be. Do not allow yourself to forget. Do not allow yourself to let them become ordinary or you yourself will become thus. I refuse to be ordinary. I refuse to be commonplace.

Instead... I will be more than I ever dreamed possible. And I will become such because I BELIEVE it to be so. I have the faith to remain strong while I pursue this destiny. And I will fight for it. And by fighting in faith and with heart those that will change my life will have the space to enter in and do the work they are meant to do. They will give the respect that is deserved. They will recognize the talents and skills I offer. They will be what they were meant to be so that I can be the same.

Where ever you are in life I urge you to do the same. It doesn't matter if you work in the arts or not. You have passion for something that is uniquely yours. What ever that might be I ask you to fight for it. Is it painting? Or writing? Or numbers? Helping others? Healing? Listening? Scrapbooking? What ever it is... cherish it. Don't push it aside. Don't let it become commonplace. Life is too short to allow for regrets. Even if you fail, you'll always know that you had the guts to try. And THAT... that is a joy least often found. The joy that comes only through courage.

No regrets. No fear. Only chances and the guts to actually take them as them come.

May you be well. May you be happy. May you ALWAYS be brave.
Shawna

Its 2008!

So.... I never really promised to be very good at the whole blogging thing. In fact I just realized it has been one year to the very day since I have last written anything here! So much has happened... WAY TOO MUCH TO WRITE IT ALL OUT HERE! So I will just start with a quick recap of some important events and then full accounts starting with THIS year. I had marvelous blessings by being able to be a part of over 7 shows. The Molly Maguires was a particular favorite. I was also blessed to fulfill a life long professional goal of being hired at Sacramento Music Circus. They were the very first professional audition I ever went on back in the Los Angeles days when I decided to go for the gold out in the Golden state! Obviously it took a little while to get there, but get there I did in Hello Dolly. While I was up in Sacramento I got a call from Disney asking me to come down to LA to audition for a tour they were sending out. I was cleared to miss half a day of rehearsal and off I went. Just because it is unbelievable to me (and I actually did it) I have to tell you how the day went... I started in rehearsal from 9 til 12, made my 1 pm flight which landed in Orange county almost 20 mins early, got my rental car by 2:30 and made my 3 pm appointment time at Disneyland rehearsal studios. It went so well that I ended up having to change my flight home to the next morning from a different airport. (The cost of the air ticket change: 25 bucks... the rental car... $0!!!!) I landed at 8:55 and made it to rehearsal by 9:03! WOW!!!! I can't believe it worked out so perfectly! And then I got the job!!! I was the only girl in a 3 person show that went along the west coast and into Canada! IT was a bus tour, but we were rockstars on that bus! So that was another life dream checked off the list... Work for Disney... CHECK!

Well....Here it is the 21st of January 2008 and I have already rehearsed and completed 2 shows here in NYC! One was a quick run at The Public Theater in which I sang with a marvelous group of people from every walk of life.

The other show just ended today actually... It was a workshop for a musical by Joe Brooks (composer and Oscar winner for the song "You Light Up My Life") called Metropolis. It was pretty crazy. It is based on the 1927 movie of the same name which I've heard said was one of the most important Si Fi films ever made. It makes an interesting musical. It CERTAINLY needs work, but it was fun to spend 29 hours on it.

At the moment I am temping with Victoria's Secret in the corporate offices. I am actually administrative assistant to two VPs in the creative department! It is awesome. I love it there. They are so nice and are so excited that I am a performer! It makes it so much easier when I have to take off time for a show (or shows) and/or auditions. They really do like that I am a performer. What a difference it makes! Auditions have been really going well. While I haven't booked anything huge yet, everything I HAVE booked is a very important step on the road I am traveling!

Things, important things are happening I know this year. I can just feel it in the air.

I FINALLY HAVE HEALTH INSURANCE!!!!!! That a was a big goal for this year and here it is January and that too is checked off the list. I am also having a website created for me... www.ShawnaHamic.com! IT looks awesome! We are tweaking things still so it isn't officially up, but I know it will be soon.

Well I am off to bed and then off to work tomorrow. Life is really great. Even with the eminent passing of my grandpa... life is still amazing. He's ready to go and while I'll miss him like no other person in my life, I know he NEEDS his "promotion to Glory" as he puts it. It's just time...

So where ever you are... where ever life is taking you be it good or bad... I pray you enjoy the ride. That's the point after all isn't it!

Much love,
Shawna